I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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