those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
