Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
