yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
