this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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