I will die if light touches me.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
