You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize