Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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