Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
