im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
