I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
