Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
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