we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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