I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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