Pants 0. Shit 1.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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