if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
