dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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