For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
