do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
