also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
