I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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