I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize