What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?