We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
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I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
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They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.