I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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