happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
