Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
not ubering you a puppy
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
