i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I am never drinking with the goths again.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo