2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.