I wish I only lived at night.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback