I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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