We won't sleep together?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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