kristin has been a bad kristin
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
