Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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