my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
