It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
