Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
