Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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