I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
do herpes really smell.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
