This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
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