I didn't shave. On purpose
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize