mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
