yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
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Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
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It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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