Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
this boner is exhausting
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.