You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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