My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.