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• (253): View more from Washington

  I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.

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• (845): View more from New York

  I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder

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  19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any

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• (408): View more from California

  We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.

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• 

  The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (732): View more from New Jersey

  you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  It was so small.

  (1-603): View more from New Hampshire

  Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?

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