Texts From Last Night

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  (954): View more from Florida

  woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student

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  (954): woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student http://tfl.nu/4vc9
  Replies (38) Good night (18992) Bad night (997)
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  (914): View more from New York

  End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.

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  (914): End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide. http://tfl.nu/bl6v
  Replies (74) Good night (6634) Bad night (1401)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count

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  (678): I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count http://tfl.nu/smaa
  Replies (4) Good night (1681) Bad night (1016)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party

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  (330): Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party http://tfl.nu/m7il
  Replies (4) Good night (2129) Bad night (792)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.

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  (330): White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux. http://tfl.nu/a54h
  Replies (5) Good night (2009) Bad night (758)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.

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  (615): Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours. http://tfl.nu/ireg
  Replies (4) Good night (2214) Bad night (764)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.

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  (902): Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control. http://tfl.nu/b8uq
  Replies (7) Good night (1318) Bad night (606)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted

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  (919): Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted http://tfl.nu/7mo3
  Replies (2) Good night (1689) Bad night (683)
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  (315): View more from New York

  That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"

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  (315): That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty" http://tfl.nu/cos5
  Replies (14) Good night (1417) Bad night (685)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out

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  (407): More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out http://tfl.nu/4y5s
  Replies (4) Good night (615) Bad night (1032)
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  (585): View more from New York

  I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.

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  (585): I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in. http://tfl.nu/1xha
  Replies (4) Good night (608) Bad night (586)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.

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  (914): Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing. http://tfl.nu/rvdd
  Replies (3) Good night (576) Bad night (331)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.

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  (412): It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life. http://tfl.nu/gcvx
  Replies (5) Good night (931) Bad night (409)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.

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  (973): Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos. http://tfl.nu/ye3t
  Replies (1) Good night (767) Bad night (380)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off

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  (978): Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off http://tfl.nu/6y1x
  Replies (4) Good night (1054) Bad night (256)

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