I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?