Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(760): View more from California

dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.

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(802): View more from Vermont

Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?

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(519): View more from Ontario

i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own

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(858): View more from California

It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(615): View more from Tennessee

When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'

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(280): View more from

So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed

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(757): View more from Virginia

I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.

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(727): View more from Florida

I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!

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