barbara walters just said penis...
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
