the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
