Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.

  (650): View more from California

  I tried to assassinate the ginger baby

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  (650): There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide. (650): I tried to assassinate the ginger baby http://tfl.nu/c72u
  Replies (28) Good night (1919) Bad night (961)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?

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  (810): Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"? http://tfl.nu/nq90
  Replies (2) Good night (722) Bad night (1109)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.

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  (615): I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him. http://tfl.nu/4ib9
  Replies (30) Good night (703) Bad night (2980)
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  (805): View more from California

  the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie

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  (805): the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie http://tfl.nu/n8tx
  Replies (20) Good night (6439) Bad night (921)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?

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  (619): She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser? http://tfl.nu/gbh0
  Replies (22) Good night (771) Bad night (4931)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  im bored tell me something entertaining

  (206): View more from Washington

  You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.

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  (425): im bored tell me something entertaining (206): You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam. http://tfl.nu/m0ao
  Replies (48) Good night (1671) Bad night (9836)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.

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  (832): you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would. http://tfl.nu/dwd2
  Replies (7) Good night (5297) Bad night (2547)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy

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  (214): dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy http://tfl.nu/o6xr
  Replies (14) Good night (1274) Bad night (2982)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.

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  (919): No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you. http://tfl.nu/9kp9
  Replies (4) Good night (2814) Bad night (991)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck

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  (412): I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck http://tfl.nu/1t6b
  Replies (16) Good night (875) Bad night (1325)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.

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  (312): He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work. http://tfl.nu/lc9m
  Replies (12) Good night (1006) Bad night (642)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.

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  (562): Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers. http://tfl.nu/434l
  Replies (2) Good night (901) Bad night (474)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas

  (1-918): View more from Oklahoma

  I thank god almighty everyday

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  (918): We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas (1-918): I thank god almighty everyday http://tfl.nu/mbi3
  Replies (18) Good night (1610) Bad night (599)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing

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  (407): so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing http://tfl.nu/s8vo
  Replies (2) Good night (277) Bad night (445)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food

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  (530): No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food http://tfl.nu/tmk7
  Replies (1) Good night (299) Bad night (596)

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