I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
