Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
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