They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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