If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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