Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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