yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
