No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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