another moral hangover. fuck.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
