I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
