i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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