You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
