She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
