I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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