make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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