I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
