Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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